Asking for a Friend

How can a sensitive soul survive the world we live in right now? How is it possible? It seems survival is just getting by. But as a sensitive soul, living on planet Earth at this very time, I've known for a long time that it's too harsh for me. I cannot explain it, but I am going to try.

Ever since I was a little girl, I would go to bed at night begging God to take me home. I didn't like it here. Too much evil, too much greed, too much noise, too many people out for themselves and eager to hurt others so they can get more worldly possessions. It's sickening, and I have felt like this my whole life. Even as I child I could see the horrors, the manipulation, the abuse, the pain, and the suffering that exists here on Earth. 

Now with social media and 24 hour news, we cannot escape it. It's in our faces all day long and the only way we can is to completely disconnect from everyone and everything. There are virtually no conversations we can have that will change things. The pendulum has swung so far towards greed and evil that people worship it and are clamoring to become part of it. It's glamorized and pushed out for all of us to see. 

Happy stories get no traction, positivity gets pushed down so we are expected to believe that good in the world is rare, that we should live in a state of fear, and that one day we will succumb to the grips of illness. We know it's a lie, but we cannot prove the opposite. Yet we still participate, yet we still watch, we still comment, we still buy into it.

In trying to break free from the darkness all around us, I've tried to stay positive, spreading the messages from the ancient yogis who have created a pathway to liberation, in yoga we call this Samadhi. I've been on this path for a long time, doing my best to teach a better way of living, a more peaceful way to exist, and how not to succumb to the greed machine that has been barreling down on all of us. This thing "they" told us was good for everyone, capitalism. It's just another way to spell "greed".

Who are "they"? THEY are the people we have put in power, and not just the politicians, but the CEOs of the "food" corporations, the CEOs of the hospitals, insurance companies, social media outlets, and news channels. We know they are evil, yet we still participate. We still post on Facebook and Instagram, we still buy bottled water, we still watch 24 hour news. It's NOT going to stop unless WE STOP participating.

What would happen if EVERYONE deleted their Meta accounts? There would be no one to push propaganda on. What if we ALL stopped shopping at the big chain grocery stores and made an effort to buy locally grown and made food? What if we ALL took our health into our own hands, and started exercising, going to the gym everyday, taking yoga classes in the park, and stopped taking pharmaceuticals? What would happen if we ALL turned off the TV? 

I know what would happen, we would be happier, healthier, and more vibrant. But we are addicted. WE ARE THE PROBLEM! The big bad corporations are just giving us what we want and more and more of it. We want 55 ingredients in a fried chicken sandwich. Ok let's give them that, and they'll keep buying more, and more and more of it. They will come back every day. They will line up around the building at 7am for it. They won't be able to start their day without it. 

But yoga, yoga is too hard. Do you know how many times I have heard that? Too many times to count. Sacrifice is what it takes to save yourself. I don't think anyone is really willing to make small sacrifices to save themselves or others. Everyday I make sacrifices for myself. Everyday I get up at 6am, go to the gym, do yoga, then hit the local produce store for the fresh fruits and vegetables I will consume that day.

Everyday I meditate. Everyday I work to create positive content for people like you who want a better life. But it's not many of you who want it. You'd rather scroll on TikTok and allow your brain to be warped by other people's views of reality. You'd rather blame the capitalists for their reckless ways of doing business. You'd rather stay asleep hoping one day things will change. 

Things are NEVER going to change. You CANNOT be part of the problem and expect the solution to come to you. You cannot keep eating that poisonous chicken sandwich and expect the company to stop making it, or even make it healthier, because you've already given them your money, and now they are going to keep making that poison you've become so addicted to. 

Do you know what it means to BE THE CHANGE? It means not participating in things that hurt you. How many time have you been in a relationship that when you finally realize is toxic, that you decide to get out. Not as quickly as you like, because the comfort of companionship with someone who treats you like shit is more familiar than going out into the world alone. How many times do you keep going back? How long is it going to take to get yourself free from the abuse you keep putting yourself through?

We are living in that same relationship RIGHT NOW with these big corporations and we are all just saying "Nahhhhh, I prefer to be poisoned in my mind and body rather than be free and healthy and think my own thoughts." That's where we are as a country and as a species, on autopilot day after day after day. Choosing the same poison again and again at the drive through, at the supermarket, in the apps on our phone, and on our TV's.

I was part of a meditation group for a hot minute until they started mocking "woke" and transgender people. I immediately got sick to my stomach when I heard them mocking them after what I thought was a beautiful meditation. I asked myself, "How did I end up on this timeline?" Devastated, I promptly left, went home angry and disappointed, and meditated by myself to send them love and the awakening they needed to realize that ALL humans deserve to be loved, especially the ones you mock.

In one of my favorite Sanskrit chants it ends with "May ALL beings be happy and FREE." But in this mediation group I realized they only wanted people like them to be happy and free and that others who are not like them can can "go to hell" as they put it.

The evil in this world is a reflection of ourselves. We are ALL evil and we are all good. We choose everyday which path we want to pursue. We choose good, we choose kindness, then someone pisses us off and we choose evil. Doh! Try again tomorrow to be better. That's how it goes, we try again and again, day, after, day, after day. But when I see someone choose evil day, after, day, after day, and it gets them more power, more possessions, more attention, I feel sick and want to cry. Sometimes I do. 

That's what has been put on display for all of us to witness, the power others get from being evil, greedy, and mean. The attention others get from saying hurtful things, inciting violence, and manipulating others to do their dirty work. Desperate, desperate people seeking some form of attention, which they believe to be success. Wealth is success. Political power is success. Having more money than the next guy is success. Having a massive following on social media is success. Making fun of the less fortunate while getting thousands of likes and comments is success. 

This is not the kind of "success" that I desire, if I desire success at all? To me peace is fulfilling. Having those who truly love you around is fulfilling, not those who just think "what can I get from this relationship or person." Having utmost health is fulfilling, feeling joy everyday is fulfilling. Being rewarded internally for good deeds is fulfilling. Knowing my efforts to change the world for the better is fulfilling. But this last one, I don't feel right now. I'm not sure that any of the work I have done matters. I don't feel that my life's work matters. It's barely a drop in the ocean. It's like a firefly in the longest, darkest night. It's only one, tiny grain of sand on the beach. It makes no difference to the larger scene when the whole world is focused on how big the ocean is, how black the darkness is, and how many other grains of sand exist without this one teeny, tiny pebble. 

It is nothing in a world of pain. Because it is evident that most people prefer pain to liberation. A dull, enduring pain that leads to ignorance, rather than following the light shining on a path to the unknown doorway to freedom. 

I know what it feels like to pour your energy into a world that feels unresponsive. My purpose is to create spaces where you can be seen, heal, and connect with a community that understands. My classes are a place to find your peace, and my teacher trainings are a path to become a light for others. You don't have to navigate this alone. I am here.

My life's work is for you—for all of us who seek a better way. If you feel like a single firefly in the dark, remember you are not alone. We are here, ready to welcome you. Find a space to heal and connect with a community that understands.

If you're ready to embark on a path that feels different, even scary, so that you can heal from the wounds of this world, sign up for my online guided yoga trainings. You're not alone, I am with you every step of the way.